The woman you’re truly looking for will be impossible to find.
She’s out there no doubt, and she’s everywhere you’ve been, are now or will ever go.
Our habit is to seek, gain wisdom from and practice surrender, while focusing on what we love. Yet she remains away—apart. Distant from us. We wonder about her at night. What she might look like. Her scent. What’s she’s thinking right now.
Overlooking the obvious, far more than we realize, because we’re too busy scattering our attention about, toward all the pretty distractions, ever-tempting us to stray and continue wandering. How many times have I walked right past you?
Your hair, shimmering in the daylight as you study every word and sentence while enjoying your favorite tea. Completely immersed in your silent, yet chaotic world. Eyes that glimmer and speak untold stories that would mystify me. Your curves, because I notice everything. Your essence, how you make me feel is what I’m learning to trust.
Separating how I feel and which emotions have consumed me, triggering the same-old responses rather than inspiring new wakeful interactions with someone. I shed these pent-up emotions and thoughts as though they are what’s blinding me.
Then I see you again. Out there living your life, living out your dream. Sometimes we steal a glance and other times it’s as though we’re missing the key. Countless times we’ve passed one another by and all I had to do was get your attention, say hello and just see.
Make a fool out of myself, perhaps show some vulnerability. Disarm myself. Share something funny, or witty. Realizing now that your guard might be up too and that we’re all a little shy sometimes, definitely self-conscious and biased toward things.
Yet, we liberate ourselves of what binds and suddenly it becomes a little more clear: that you are everywhere I am and I am here with you too. So it makes it easier to be alone while you commence this particular chapter of your life. I’m doing the same, writing it as I go and perhaps we’ll be in a future chapter together too.
Just to connect, takes courage and be as authentic as possible, which means remaining brutally honest with ourselves and what needs or wants we wish to have met. I adorned myself for too long, wearing masks that would never serve any real purpose or fulfillment and realize that standing naked is what’s truly natural, personally.
A wild wolf cannot be trained. Only once it has been domesticated, will its offspring be susceptible to obedience. I mention this because the fire consuming me from within is ravaging my thoughts and feelings as we speak. What was me, will not always remain. What I am today, is just a human, set free.
Are you out there? Breaking out? Running free? If you are, perhaps our paths will cross and we can mingle as two humans, embodying heart, mind and spirit—awakened companions determined to meet.
Image credit: Ray Hennessy, Unsplash