If I am lonely, sad or feeling vulnerable, despite maintaining a stoic appearance toward others and ask to be held (supported) or wish to express that I love someone, this only means that I am seeking connection and affection with honest conviction—absent borders.
Expressing intimacy or emotions with someone, like revealing those vulnerabilities, opening up or perhaps even holding one another—maybe just clasping hands for awhile, must mean that a sudden expectation of a romance will now ensue or that a newborn relationship is underway?
This is what starves a man of the ability to connect on levels he wishes to explore without having to now obligate himself to what will inevitably forge a long or short-term relationship, which he may be in no place right now, to accept, entertain or endure.
This is what drives him to loneliness and a solitary path, where solace is met with nature and self, alone.
Is it impossible to offer and receive such, without now becoming exclusive to that certain eventual, compromising commitment?
When that soul mate-mirror relationship presents itself, he'll be more than willing and happy to meet this person half way and proceed on whatever predestined path, time has bridged for them to explore together. He shall look forward with enthusiasm and wonder, to evolving alongside this person as a lover, partner and confidant.
Until then, is a self-respecting friendship amongst female company too much to ask for, without some predisposed obstacle or delusion standing in the way?
This excludes casual sex as well. A gentleman is perfectly suited to awaiting that partnership which this divine miracle represents and is a symbol of what relationship between the masculine and feminine embodies.
The ideal of what relationship means to so many, in my personal opinion, is largely outdated. From my perspective, most have run their course, long before they end. I'm simply remaining at a vantage point, where foresight ensures I can safely avoid the many pitfalls I see in what could be best viewed in upon as stagnating tremors of resistance to individual soul growth and undue possession over others.
Men need to be held too. Touch, is important to preserving the connection between bodies and health—including mind and spirit.
Must intimacy (connection, in simplest terms) remain exclusive to just two people? Are we boxing in the idea of what connection and intimacy is, or should be? Where are the committed moments of spontaneity and ultimate detachment from the illusion?
A real man, who's in touch with himself, wishes to be affectionate, sensitive and loving without feeling emotionally groped (or projected upon) by the opposite sex; that just because he opened his heart, it's an invitation to suddenly possess his sensibilities, consume his time and occupy completely, his unrelenting love with what is currently a counter-intuitive, waning representation of the soul course so many of us peaceful warriors are choosing to pursue.
My perception of free love has nothing to do with the act of sex or union of two people [under contract]. It's simply the same, uninhibited childlike ability to love freely, hug tightly, laugh and play wildly and run together with hands clasped, absent the notion that some future exists—it's an illusion and there's only one moment to be paying attention to…
Right now—what’s inevitably, always right in front of us; here in this present, eternally abiding moment.
The great thing about hugging a tree, is that it insists on maintaining its ground, long after any time together has been shared. It knows, what eventual detachment, uninhibited love and staying the course means—despite that connection (spanning over space and time, or distance), never severing. It endures each season with grace, ease and dignity. Its roots and steeple (attachment to the material and spiritual planes) are unrelenting and its offering or service to others is an extraordinary sight to behold. The stillness in this, is remarkable and felt, ever-so subtly—yet, nonetheless felt indeed.
~ Thayne Ulschmid
Image credit: Nadine Shaabana, Unsplash
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