Confessing What I Simply Cannot Say. {Poem}

photo-1474149609615-ce5628f98c80-iloveimg-resized.jpg

No matter how much someone turns you upside down,

In love—unexpectedly.

What right do I have turning her’s the same?

The realization dawns on me,

That I’m merely seeking.

Her attention,

Love and whatever’s missing,

To complete me.

So I’m at a standstill,

Because so much remains.

Circumstances beyond my control,

Making my throat constrict.

My stomach,

Pit.

Life—standing in the way,

Once again.

Or,

Is it me,

Who’s simply gotten in the way of my own journey?

I’m drawn to her,

Yet I’m fully aware that the longer I persist,

The more I’ll suffer.

All the while,

She’ll never know.

Because I’ll never tell her how I feel right now.

So,

I turn.

Yes,

That’s the answer.

I’ll turn around and walk away.

Life’s happening in front of us.

We forget and fall in love with that person,

Whose eyes speak to us,

In a language,

From a distant day.

The truth remains,

It’s long gone,

Whatever opportunity ever remained.

Time has decided our fate.

We are merely here to play the game.

I’m just lonely and looking,

In every wrong place.

So,

I spill a vein,

In the way I know how.

Words that defy vocal remedy.

Words that save me from fooling myself.

Destroying my own integrity.

Struggling to accept,

She’s in the arms of another man.

Swallowing that acceptance is hard to face.

Spinning in a downward spiral,

So long as I refuse to reveal.

My own shadowy inception,

Choosing denial,

Over the way.

My path is what’s right before me.

Hers is not mine to stand in the way of today.

Why do I feel this pulling sensation,

In my heart space?

How do I sever this,

Let go,

To breathe free again,

Another day?

Whatever it is,

I’m missing right now about her,

With sad,

Yet humbling acceptance,

Is the same thing missing in me.

Shaking my head,

Closing my eyes,

I ponder—what could have been.

Before saying,

Good day.

~

Image credit: Ben White, Unsplash

Advertisements

4 thoughts on “Confessing What I Simply Cannot Say. {Poem}

  1. We are simply here to accomplish other tasks at this precise time in our lives, Donna. We’re also learning to heal our own wounds, so we may discover the same likeness in that person that’s truly right for us, once we’ve arrived at that stage of our soul-evolution. Hope this helps. Crying always helps, to transmute and release the pain and memories, so that our perception might also change over time too.

    Like

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s