Fixate.

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Why do I fixate so?

Lusting over what’s meant for someone

Something

Somewhere else

Truth be told.

Sometime forgotten

Remembered

Longing

Committed

Scared to traverse those halls.

Torn between my reality

The truth

My commitment

And a dream long gone.

Living as a mystic

Sojourn

Shadow

Silent

Whispering

The tree’s song.

Day beckons me forth

To answer thy quiet prayer.

Destined

Desolute

Demoralized

Debilitated

Healing

Raving

Ravenous

Brand new.

There’s a purpose

For some

To answer the calling

Of nature’s tune.

Restoration

Madness

Likeness to one’s self

Emerging from the stars and cool moon.

A normal life

Is unfit

For someone of the new earth.

The shift

The consequence

Of ignoring the warning

Gestures

Sickness and sadness

Sorrow undone.

Sovereign serenity

Birthing forth.

A new paradigm awaits

Those who are prepared

To listen

Heed

Pray

Give back

Share

Face the shift.

Become a part

Integral member

Dancing

Blessing

Gracing this new swoon.

~ Thayne Ulschmid

Image credit: Hoach Le Dinh, Unsplash

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The Beat Path—A Modern Day Nomadic FairyTale.

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The beat path is nothing we’d expect it to be, nor shall it ever become anything other than a mystery to our imagination.

Walking this path, is the only way to fully realize what it means, to live a life as a nomad, healer, way-shower or guide.

We’re creating our modern-day fairytale, absent conditions placed upon us, by a maddened, indoctrinated and cruel society.

Some of us may wander and roam about, lead an artful life, or subjugate ourselves to a whimsical world, while others show up each day and tireless moment, tending to our children’s needs, a friend’s concern or simply in acknowledgment of a stranger who’s lost.

Nothing defines the beat path and it remains far from the beaten down, trodden and eroded trail that so many persist, to remain a part of.

My journey has included an immense amount of time in suffrage, so I might eventually prevail—at least for a genuine moment in spacious wonder.

Many lost nights and days spent in awe-inspired sadness and confusion.

Time in nature, has helped me soothe and heal my many wounds—in the mind, heart and spirit.

I lay down each night, underneath the moon and starry sky above, without concern for my own needs—knowing they’re always met, in their own divine timing.

Each day, I awaken to the majesty of what lies before me, here and now with grace and ease—presence of mind, body and spirit.

What does your beat path mean to you, dear, soul-child whisperer—aimless wanderer, mind full of magical mystery, healer, artist; star-spirited traveler?

Blessed are those, who’ve awakened and are awakening to their calling in this life.

Our purpose here is to serve and in doing so, heal our own wounds.

Discover what humbles you, delivers joy in each precise moment and ends the suffering of expectation—relating to a life which may never come to pass.

Practice humility, as you journey onward, through this waking and dreaming life, conjuring miracles and spreading happiness around you.

Be kind to yourself and when someone is unable to do the same, remember that it’s up to us, to rekindle that likeness within ourselves, in hopes that it affects others, in some good way.

~ Thayne Ulschmid

Image credit: Breno Machado, Unsplash

Drifting Off, Into NeverLand.

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Drifting off to sleep

Realizing

How much I wish you were nestled up

Close to me.

Securely

Settled

Close

Seeking comfort

In the shelter of my body.

Everything we struggle to cope with

Separate from one another each day.

Melts away when we’re close to the other

In Spirit

at night.

Bathed in one another's love

Healing magic

Taste

Temptations and tranquility.

Alas

I know

There's only one way this will ever last.

Holding you in highest regard.

Lusting

Craving

Accepting your divinity from afar.

Secretly

Abiding

Longing

Letting go of your hand each day

So you may wander your way

While I wander mine.

Getting lost

Gazing

Into your luscious

Mysterious

Star-studded eyes.

Imagining you might be thinking of me

In the same moment

I'm thinking

Dreaming

Loving you too.

Suffering

Accepting

Embracing

What lies deeper within.

That majesty within you

I may have otherwise missed

Had our paths crossed sooner

In this waking life.

Today

I'm grateful

We've met again

In this life

Hoping that perhaps

Another chance will adorn itself

When the next life

Encounter

Chance

Opportunity to finally hold you

Births

A new day.

~ Thayne Ulschmid

Image credit: Nathan Anderson, Unsplash

#ThayneUlschmid #HealingNomad #BodyWisdomCollective

Connection Barrier—Bridging the Gap.

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If I am lonely, sad or feeling vulnerable, despite maintaining a stoic appearance toward others and ask to be held (supported) or wish to express that I love someone, this only means that I am seeking connection and affection with honest conviction—absent borders.

Expressing intimacy or emotions with someone, like revealing those vulnerabilities, opening up or perhaps even holding one another—maybe just clasping hands for awhile, must mean that a sudden expectation of a romance will now ensue or that a newborn relationship is underway?

…beyond platonic?

This is what starves a man of the ability to connect on levels he wishes to explore without having to now obligate himself to what will inevitably forge a long or short-term relationship, which he may be in no place right now, to accept, entertain or endure.

This is what drives him to loneliness and a solitary path, where solace is met with nature and self, alone.

Is it impossible to offer and receive such, without now becoming exclusive to that certain eventual, compromising commitment?

When that soul mate-mirror relationship presents itself, he'll be more than willing and happy to meet this person half way and proceed on whatever predestined path, time has bridged for them to explore together. He shall look forward with enthusiasm and wonder, to evolving alongside this person as a lover, partner and confidant.

Until then, is a self-respecting friendship amongst female company too much to ask for, without some predisposed obstacle or delusion standing in the way?

This excludes casual sex as well. A gentleman is perfectly suited to awaiting that partnership which this divine miracle represents and is a symbol of what relationship between the masculine and feminine embodies.

The ideal of what relationship means to so many, in my personal opinion, is largely outdated. From my perspective, most have run their course, long before they end. I'm simply remaining at a vantage point, where foresight ensures I can safely avoid the many pitfalls I see in what could be best viewed in upon as stagnating tremors of resistance to individual soul growth and undue possession over others.

Men need to be held too. Touch, is important to preserving the connection between bodies and health—including mind and spirit.

Must intimacy (connection, in simplest terms) remain exclusive to just two people? Are we boxing in the idea of what connection and intimacy is, or should be? Where are the committed moments of spontaneity and ultimate detachment from the illusion?

A real man, who's in touch with himself, wishes to be affectionate, sensitive and loving without feeling emotionally groped (or projected upon) by the opposite sex; that just because he opened his heart, it's an invitation to suddenly possess his sensibilities, consume his time and occupy completely, his unrelenting love with what is currently a counter-intuitive, waning representation of the soul course so many of us peaceful warriors are choosing to pursue.

My perception of free love has nothing to do with the act of sex or union of two people [under contract]. It's simply the same, uninhibited childlike ability to love freely, hug tightly, laugh and play wildly and run together with hands clasped, absent the notion that some future exists—it's an illusion and there's only one moment to be paying attention to…

Right now—what’s inevitably, always right in front of us; here in this present, eternally abiding moment.

~

The great thing about hugging a tree, is that it insists on maintaining its ground, long after any time together has been shared. It knows, what eventual detachment, uninhibited love and staying the course means—despite that connection (spanning over space and time, or distance), never severing. It endures each season with grace, ease and dignity. Its roots and steeple (attachment to the material and spiritual planes) are unrelenting and its offering or service to others is an extraordinary sight to behold. The stillness in this, is remarkable and felt, ever-so subtly—yet, nonetheless felt indeed.

~ Thayne Ulschmid​

~

Image credit: Nadine Shaabana, Unsplash

#BeliefWork #BodyWisdomCollective #ThayneUlschmid

Long Story—Not Short.

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I go back and forth, between patiently waiting before I offer a promotion or a donation-based [Belief Work] session, before finally just realizing that we all need help, right now. Each day.

For the last ten years, I've known a healer, who is quite honestly the inspiration, catalyst and motivator to me realizing and accepting this journey or calling.

He's helped countless people at my request, thanklessly—most of whom have no conscious recollection of his healing aid (at a distance), because it's simply hard for so many to fathom this phenomenon. I recall him mentioning that we must give our permission to receive help and him telling me how he was able to communicate to a person's subconscious for said permission, before helping them.

This man is infinitely humble and wishes he could spend all of his time, helping others this way. By no means, am I comparing what he does (miraculously), to the work I've set out to do, but nonetheless aim to provide my best to others in what ways I’m able (known and unknown).

For the longest time, I struggled with earning enough, so I could 'help' others, but so often found myself barely making ‘plenty’ to provide for my own means—at least that was the perception.

Over time, I realized there are many ways to help, or serve others—monetary circumstances aside. Little by little, I've begun to carry out simple acts of kindness toward others, in whatever ways I could—unconditionally.

I've finally reached a place in life, where I believe that no matter how much or how little one has, especially in monetary terms, that offering 10% of our energy (monetary or otherwise), unconditionally to others, is typically doable. Rather than wait until I'm finally 'earning' enough, I'd rather start now, on that path toward helping others in whatever ways I can—this work, specifically included.

I'm learning that I can only offer so much time and energy to Belief Work each week, without getting duly exhausted myself. The last thing I wish to do, is burn out or be forced to seek alternate avenues of making a living, at the expense of helping others. Too many times, I've divided my precious energy and resourcefulness, only to fall into the cracks once again—holding myself away from all that I really wished to accomplish in this waking life.

For the past four years, I've gradually made the effort and push to arrive here—following through with pathways, related and unrelated to making this moment in time possible.

I finally decided at one point, that I'd rather be homeless, than turn back to where I'd been so many times before. In early 2015, that became a reality. I pitied myself for awhile, as I struggled to integrate into society once more and seat myself comfortably within, only to be propelled back out again by mid-December after being laid off from work.

Naturally, I gravitated toward finding the next job, that would provide for my means. Finally however, I resorted to trusting, more so really, than ever before, in what Spirit was beckoning me to do: Write.

So I began turning my words outward, for the world to see—exposing my raw nature, while living off of savings and what few worldly possessions remained in my life, that I could sell to get by, in the meantime.

Having no idea where all of this would lead, I eventually decided once again, come March of this year, that I'd rather face the streets than juggle the rat-race one more time, simply to remain a miserable bystander, watching life pass him by.

That reckoning arrived and I moved my belongings to a storage unit, loaded my backpack and went to live in the mountains for two weeks—fasting; a vision quest.

Upon my return to society after this period of quiet awakening, Spirit spoke to me and affirmed, "Just do what you love." It was that simple and there was newborn faith, assurance and recognition therein. Writing became my sole conduit of expression and livelihood more affirmatively, thereafter.

My journey to publish some of my work after three years of failed attempts prior, finally reached its culmination and elephant journal began to accept some of my work. It was important, I felt—deep down, to tell my story. They encouraged me to be personal and specific often, and every time, I felt as though I was throwing away my career and reputation, when a piece would get published—these confessionals. To my dismay, people celebrated what I had to share, which motivated further response—to tell all, like it was; like it is.

There have been countless meals, eaten at the soup kitchen, or provided by a church organization so I could spend the majority of my waking hours, working toward what I truly believe in, am passionate about and wish, dearly to pursue—my heartfelt calling in life.

Somehow, through the ethers and a good friend's support, Belief Work was born, only a couple months ago. Since then, it's taken off swiftly, with sincere support and encouragement to continue offering this service to others—to help, in what ways I've been ushered for so long now, to carry out; with the utmost of humility.

Each day humbles me and I'm quite frequently met with the potential fear that arises in anyone, seeking new avenues of career and making a living—creating a life for themselves, while being of worthwhile service to others at the same time; in some heartfelt and meaningful way.

A grand total of 12 weeks have been spent outdoors this year, living in my tent, so I could accomplish my dream and carry out this mission. I lived on top of a mountain for two months, hiking up near its peak each night and down again every morning, along with two weeks spent here in Colorado—pitching a tent under the cover of darkness, in this urban jungle and waking early, before anyone would notice me, camping along the creek here in the middle of the city.

I even resorted to bathing one day in the creek, which was quite honestly, one of the most refreshing things I've done in a long time. I would make this part of my lifestyle—really.

Needless to say, I feel I've earned to some degree, having arrived here where I’m at in life and more importantly, strive to earn the same each day, no longer fearful of the out of doors, lacking shelter or missing a warm meal. My basic needs have been provided, ceaselessly, so long as I was willing to seek out the creative avenues that Spirit urged me to explore—as an awakening gesture; a realization of how fortunate I truly am and have always been.

My original goal, was to ensure this always remains accessible to others. I know firsthand, how often I could have used outside, holistic support but simply lacked the resources to achieve said opportunities.

This drove me to focus largely, on self-help for the past four years now, with minimal exception. Always, there have been soul mates, i.e. friends, family and loved ones who've all contributed magnificently to helping me out, so I could arrive here today to carry out what I’m doing, with just enough courage to proceed—into the unknown, each waking moment that I’m here.

Nonetheless, I’m tested every day, by Spirit—luring me, daring me to look the other way; but I shall not.

My dreams have even begun to support this work and I’m committed enough, that even tonight, upon my return to a place which has been generously offered to me for a short while, I affirmed to self, a willingness to enter the jungle again, if need be, so that I could remain the course. This is how much conviction I have in this work. I feel destined to proceed and would rather tip over, than turn back at this juncture.

With humble regards, thank you. I appreciate your support. Much love.

Belief Work.

~
Image credit: Teddy Kelley,
Unsplash.

The Daring Chances We Take, or Simply Leave to Fate. {Poem}

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The pull of an alluring woman

Draws him in

Effortlessly

Ever-so magnificently.

Does she realize her own majesty?

Her desirous sensuality?

Is a man

Forever stricken

By her tantalizing

Seductive

Elusive mystery?

Catapulted by her mere glance

Walled off

By her trance.

Fear paralyzes him.

What he’d say

If indeed

Her momentary stare

Was truly

Aimed his way.

A fool

He’d make?

Making his approach.

Leaving it to the Universe

To determine

What chances of a reunion

Might arrive

Another day.

~

Image credit: Seth Doyle, Unsplash.

Confessing What I Simply Cannot Say. {Poem}

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No matter how much someone turns you upside down,

In love—unexpectedly.

What right do I have turning her’s the same?

The realization dawns on me,

That I’m merely seeking.

Her attention,

Love and whatever’s missing,

To complete me.

So I’m at a standstill,

Because so much remains.

Circumstances beyond my control,

Making my throat constrict.

My stomach,

Pit.

Life—standing in the way,

Once again.

Or,

Is it I,

Who’s simply gotten in the way of my own journey?

I’m drawn to her,

Yet I’m fully aware that the longer I persist,

The more I’ll suffer.

All the while,

She’ll never know.

Because I’ll never tell her I how feel right now.

So,

I turn.

Yes,

That’s the answer.

I’ll turn around and walk away.

Life’s happening in front of us.

We forget and fall in love with that person,

Whose eyes speak to us,

In a language,

From a distant day.

The truth remains,

It’s long gone,

Whatever opportunity ever remained.

Time has decided our fate.

We are merely here to play the game.

I’m just lonely and looking,

In every wrong place.

So,

I spill a vein,

In the way I know how.

Words that defy vocal remedy.

Words that save me from fooling myself.

Destroying my own integrity.

Struggling to accept,

She’s in the arms of another man.

Swallowing that acceptance is hard to face.

Spinning in a downward spiral,

So long as I refuse to reveal.

My own shadowy inception,

Choosing denial,

Over the way.

My path is what’s right before me.

Hers is not mine to stand in the way of today.

Why do I feel this pulling sensation,

In my heart space?

How do I sever this,

Let go,

To breathe free again,

Another day?

Whatever it is,

I’m missing right now about her,

With sad,

Yet humbling acceptance,

Is the same thing missing in me.

Shaking my head,

Closing my eyes,

I ponder—what could have been.

Before saying,

Good day.

~

Image credit: Ben White, Unsplash