Struggling to Stay Afloat—Respite in Trusting that Creator will Shelter us from even the Most Bitter Winds.



I have fought to stay afloat, while adrift at sea—only to discover that the more I struggled, the deeper into the abyss I sank.

While gasping for air, the mirage of an island and its shoreline appeared ever so near to me, despite finding deep peace in just letting my exhausted body go.

It was of no consequence—fighting to breathe, when my lungs were already full of salted tear water.

Realizing that no matter how much I tried to lift others up above me, I did so at my own peril.

When we awaken one day to see the moon split in two, we realize that no matter how much we divide our energy, we are never full.

Are we meant to sink or should we lie in hope that “if I swim”, solace and shorelines will surely arrive?

Time and time again, I’ve surrendered to the will of some higher power after attempting to carry the weight of the world upon my hapless shoulders.

It has beaten me down and left me for dead—an outcast of society because I chose a different path.

My shaking hands and aching feet remind me every painful step of the way that one misstep and I might stumble and break.

As my pride wears thin and the veil of illusion becomes abhorrently transparent, I’m beckoned to accept that I cannot fight on behalf of a world which does not wish to be saved.

Tears stream down my face and the people I’ve wronged or simply miss, appear like apparitions in my wandering mind’s eye.

The salt of our wounds stains our cheeks and we are reminded of what it tastes like to feel so greatly.

Dear God, I have nothing to offer but my pain in exchange for an ounce of another’s happiness and retreat from what it means to harbor this world’s torment.

“Creator”, I ask: “Will you help this person, then the next and in doing so, guide me to each new place in time?”

I’ve nothing to ask for, most of the time—except that you shelter me from the bitter winds of truth so that I might brave, yet another storm of purging energies.

“Do not ask me to remain with you. I cannot stay, for I was never meant to take root.”

I am the air and my scent may linger for awhile, but we both know it was never meant to last beyond the bittersweet taste of pleasurable day dreams, before my flame-lit passage into the unknown, again ignites.

Aloft, I am carried to and fro—leaving behind only a shadow of memories, the haunting sound of laughter and a trail of remorseful tears.

My heart must not cage itself for too long, as it was never meant to live and love conditionally.

There’s no sense to make of an awakening wanderer’s life, for it belongs to the soul of this Earth and abides by a higher calling, unlike my own mind’s musings.

No matter how much I fight to hold on or perpetuate the same, it seems that Spirit still calls upon me, just like on this day—no different than the next.

The split moon is my sign that I must move up, to the top of this mountain.

Dwelling in the valley for too long would mean that my suffering will only persist.

Solitude and Nature heals a broken heart who only knows that fostering forgiveness and cheer is what the many I’ve encountered have asked for—fewer answers or concerns to ponder, but perhaps just a token of insight and assurance, that life is truly splendid and worth living for.

Let’s not take our time so seriously while these passing moments diminish in time.

There’s but one truth that I’m now aware of; for the warrior who’s been chosen or initiated—letting go is no different than turning one’s back to protect them from the harsh, biting winds of life.


2 thoughts on “Struggling to Stay Afloat—Respite in Trusting that Creator will Shelter us from even the Most Bitter Winds.

  1. I have bought and read countless books, slip covers announcing them to brilliant, one of a kind, best new this, number one that, page turners, life changing and god knows what else. Authors appearing in every glossy magazine or on every talk show, skip jumping smiling and laughing all the way to the bank because of their “number one bestselling….” It was light entertainment, gave no new thoughts, barely some feeling of things to relate to, simple reports of other people`s lives. Most of them I threw out, no way would I read them again, in spite of their global popularity. There were exceptions, of course! Dont get me wrong! Sometimes though, I think women, 35 and older are the easiest crowd to please …. And here you are, spilling your guts like nobody´s business, actually cutting pretty deep into my guts as well from the very first sentence. Sometimes less IS more, because it leaves no room for chit chat ( I would have liked to use a different word .. ) and cuts right to the core of things, surgical precision style. What is the point of reading if it is not disturbing, stirring up something, leaving you asking new questions about yourself, about life, about everything and anything.


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