Dear Beloved,

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It’s my ego that gets in the way of conveying how I truly feel.

Because it’s my ego that feels like I should defend the good and morally sound nature of others—even if they’re guilty in the eyes of many.

I however, have nothing to offer or defend of my own good or abhorrent nature.

Standing at the altar of my own personal freedom and persecution, I choose whether to execute or pardon.

Why do I long for you so?

What is it about you that’s so different from the rest?

I’m saddened often, that I have to miss you—that we do not get to share our moments together, in the flesh.

Where have you gone and where did I go?

Sometimes, I get lost on the trail of isolation that no man walketh but me.

When will we dance once more?

Underneath that brilliant, pale-white light…

Do you remember when, we used to laugh and play…when we were best friends?

I’ll let you go now, I’ll let go of your hand no matter how much it pains.

Why, oh why do I feel this way?

I hope that someday I’ll figure out how to simply love absent the adjustment of my mind telling me which conditions are ripe and why I should deny.

Yes, I’ll admit my own denial and next it will be rage.

Not the kind you, my dear might have unfortunately gotten used to.

It’s the kind of inner storm I never wish for you to see in me.

What goes on within, I cannot explain.

The wires, somewhere along the way got confused, beaten into me—this brain-washed brain.

If only you knew or maybe you can relate…

How much torment we inevitably suffer before that final heartbreak.

Destined for loneliness.

Hardened by trial.

I swear on the life of my dearest loved ones, that only a gentle hand and soft voice will prevail.

So much has been learned from failure and grief.

One day maybe, you and I—possibly in the next life will commensurate.

Until then, I envelope my own heart ache and wish while looking up at the same stars that maybe a miracle, a moment bursts forth into this reality and we are again united in faith.

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