Healing a heavy heart.



Whenever the inexplicable rush of painful, heartfelt emotions arise from within, I seek out the space where I might allow it to then express itself naturally as soon as possible.

In the past, I would insist on harboring such thoughts and allow these energies to persist. I’d replay these emotions over and over again.

This however, was not a healthy choice for me to make overall.

I was experiencing a pain and pleasure relationship with unsettled energies which I was refusing to transmute and release. This ultimately led to not only my own suffering, but contributed to the cording of others as well—a vicious and unnecessary cycle of harvesting energy to get by and fleeting attempt to flourish with little success or lasting benefit.

Today, I will say without shame, that I thoroughly appreciate the space in the privacy of my own room or out in Nature where I can let these emotions flow completely uninhibited. It’s difficult for me to simply let them coalesce within the confines of my heart center or any other area within my body for that matter.

So what is my solution that has taken all of thirty-plus years to figure out?

I sob.


I cry like a little baby.

I let it out, every whaling and guttural feeling that is churning within and causing torment to my heart, mind and spirit. This, I’ll assure you is not exactly a pretty sight but it’s the only way I’ve learned to overcome depression, past suicidal tendencies or thoughts, rejection and anger which has welled up within from some life experience or unexplainable part of myself which simply and deservedly needed expression.

If we can learn to acknowledge that this pain or torment exists within us, we’ve not only become aware of it, we can now allow it to rise through us until tears are shed or wales and cries burst forth from deep within.

It’s a tragedy that anyone should ever feel as though they are not free to express themselves naturally—like that of a child. Does this make me any less of a man? Maybe in the eyes of those who are incapable of expressing their true nature. This will likely cause discomfort to anyone for that matter who is possibly ashamed of behaving naturally or has repressed their feelings for so long that it’s been long forgotten—the intricate transmutation of energy we might liken to alchemy.

Someday, we will hopefully see the dawn of an era where everyone’s emotions are cradled, supported, acknowledged and witnessed absent judgement or ridicule.

Letting go of that inner voice which has remained with me since childhood, the one who would otherwise criticize or condone such behavior has also been a revelation. Learning to simply hold space for the emotion to rise and liberate itself has done tremendous wonders to my psyche, confidence and overall self-esteem.

I can finally, for the first time in my life say that, “I accept myself.” I don’t judge my feelings the way I used to, nor do I try to deflate them with my ego’s petty and fearful voice.

Our hearts may whisper, but they reverberate like a tectonic shift in our Earth’s crust. Fault lines will roar and slip if we but let them and then all will return to its calm and serene nature.

No one is hurt or blamed in the process either. Any faults I may have found in another are dissipated and I am able to clearly see again—their best as well as my own. We’re all flawed and perfectly unique in the same token.

Additionally, I have embraced the notion that there needs no explanation or justification for energy-release. It may not come on during the most convenient of times and will often rumble when least expected.

From my perspective, a loving, authentic man, as just one example, learns to become completely comfortable in his ability to transmute energy in a healthy fashion such as this. We have so much to contribute to this awakening period of our destinies. Transmuting energy cannot or should not be understated.

A grieving heart leads to a grieving and defeated mind. We can once again empower ourselves and shed grief and despair if we but learn to allow.

Allow that surge of Kundalini energy to serpentine it’s way up and down our spine—spiraling outward from each vortice’s center. How wonderful an image that is, don’t you think?

I was placed here as a healing vessel to contribute to this Earth plane’s spiritual and material development (evolution). Our primary job here is to help and to serve. We are the most effective if we are as much healed ourselves as we are attempting to heal others.

If you’re struggling to let go of such pain dwelling within your heart, imagine yourself as that infant or child who, as the saying goes, can simply and unapologetically, “let it flow then let it go.”

Here’s to healing hearts and minds while we remember what our ultimate, planetary calling is here once again.



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