Like anything else in life that we wish to preserve, continual effort is required to sustaining a rich and rewarding relationship.
A relationship is worth the tireless work because when we get home from a tough day, we’ll be glad our partner is there to offer their support and affection.
They’ll lift the robe of burden from our shoulders and will sit, patiently listening or soothing us.
The day will come around when the roles are reversed and through practice, we’ll be able to hold space for our significant other to shed what ails them without fear or judgement.
We must be willing to input energy that’s in cooperation with our partner on a regular basis.
A relationship is worth the work because we’ve chosen to grow with a compatible mate and we’re capable of so much more working as a team than we would be separate and divided.
A relationship is worth the work because we only leave here with felt memories and I want her glowing face and shimmering smile to be stored in the caverns of mind—the harp’s strum of my heart and soul reverberating throughout time and space.
Difficulty will inevitably arise in any relationship and rather than waiting for it to surface, we can learn to communicate early on and voice how we’re feeling from day to day.
Can we manage to talk about our issues without making it personal between us and our partner who’s listening?
Digging deep to keep that ember lit will help a couple weather their relationship storms until these emotional clouds lift—revealing a break in the sudden calm; a stream of light pointing directly at the source of each challenge to overcome.
Every word we say is a seed that will either germinate and grow or remain dormant until a day where the mutual energy which planted that seed rouses it to stir and awaken.
Unconscious behaviors lend to all kinds of issues down the road simply because as humans we can be very finite in our ability to deal with others in close proximity on a regular basis.
Knowing that we’re only human, we remember that life is difficult and even on good days for some a battle may still ensue in mind or heart.
Give your partner a break for being human—you’re likely one of few people in their world that can rely on you to take the brunt of their energy without feeling judged or chastised while shedding unwanted energy.
I used to sit and listen to my now former partner vent about her day and prior to recognizing or understanding my own empathy, I’d find myself fighting her fight with her and often times getting frustrated at seeing the solution to what she could not and instead of being truthful, I’d end up in an argument with her because I was withholding the truth—even if it would have been painful to hear or say.
Afraid of hurting her feelings, yet overwhelmed by the energy of the matter, I was only serving as her anchor rather than her sail. Intervention and a few moments of meditative silence together might help calm the situation down so new insights might be reached and shared. I wish I’d simply have told her like I saw it but from the highest place I could come from.
There will be many trying times and people who’ve cultivated intimacy and affection into their relationship will have the opportunity to experience a closer bond when things are challenging. There will be times of laughter, tears, remorse and all kinds of insecurities for two people to work through—an all-encompassing journey into soul progression. We were closest to one another when facing tremendous adversity at that point in our lives—each dealing with separate family matters.
Relationships are about the law of attraction and focuses on two compatible people routinely working together on keeping their commitment alive by avoiding some of the many comfort traps that befall so many couples. Too often, we zoned out on the couch watching Netflix when instead, we could have been out on walks or working on creative projects.
It’s important to recognize the beauty in its dysfunction, the role we’re playing in influencing this arrangement and the modest imperfections that make this bond so unique and splendid.
I learned over time that the way I was viewing my relationship was solely based on my perception. There was a time when all I could do was focus on her flaws and almost on queue she’d act them out time and time again. I brought out her flaws subconsciously—whatever resided within me, I was projecting onto her.
Eventually, I consciously chose to focus on the things that I thought made her beautiful—like her shyness even when it was just us together or how kind she was to every stranger.
Noticing the subtle things like the way she turned the kitchen upside down to cook or how she’d dump the silverware in the drawer rather than sorting them became enduring traits that I learned to appreciate. She made my heart flutter and sent electrifying shock-waves through my spinal column when we’d be holding one another, losing ourselves in each other’s eyes and meeting lips with passionate embrace.
She distorted my reality and my subjective views on how to conduct ourselves in life. It brought out my insecurities and fear based beliefs so I might eventually liberate myself from such destructive behaviors.
Partnerships mirror everything between two people on some level and it’s a glorious experience to consciously choose love and growth. This will inevitably require work and will surely be worth it on so many levels if we simply choose to take the plunge.