Why the sudden insurgence of women from my past arriving in my life right now?
What does the timing of their appearance in my life have to do with me and my karma—at such a pivotal point and shifting of tides in my life?
Despite the tenderness of these open wounds that are still present—unresolved feelings for the last lover that I thought no longer existed, it was nonetheless really great to see her again while expressing love and gratitude for the first time in over two and a half years without the torment of our past heartache binding the love that’s truly present between us.
Appreciation for them and the ability to see them for who they are without attaching ourselves to expectations of getting back together helps us to remain calm and patient for what or who is next to come.
We must face our shadows eventually if we wish to alleviate karmic debt—cancelling old patterns of behavior that no longer serve.
Despite feeling the emotional uprising of old feelings rekindled, I remained adamant in mind that I would not question or turn back into fear or familiarity, comfort or compromise with the conviction that something greater for me exists out there.
There’s nothing better than making amends after sharing such immense growth pains while in the throes of loving embrace, quarrel and self-discovery.
I’m fortunate to have these beautiful women in my life whether it remains at a distance for the most part or otherwise. Letting go of what was helps remind us of who we’ve become because of these amazing influences that so bravely contributed to our soul growth.
Have you ever experienced a barrage of old flings or unreconciled relationships arrive out of the fold in the midst of a personal inner and outer transformation?
How have we handled these interactions?
What rises to the surface that we were sure no longer affected our heart and psyche?
If we are truly ready to avail ourselves to that someone new, we must be willing to clear up old karmic ties with those who had once captivated us so dearly at some point in life.
The temptation to delve back into what at one time was so intimately a part of us may not be a wise choice. I feel strongly that at least in my case, letting the past go—my last lover for example is wisest for me personally.
Regardless, it can be difficult watching them walk away while we turn to face our new truths—a new reality or passageway that’s fitting to our nature.
Deep down I know that even those we’ve loved and lost, only to be reintroduced again as entirely new people no matter how enticing repeating history might be, is a test that the universe wishes for us to overcome—giving rise to new thoughts, beliefs and experiences.
We must pass through the gateway of old energetic patterns—we must be willing to abandon what no longer serves and be open to loving unconditionally; in service to others especially.
Let us view old enemies as new allies instead—instilling confidence and appreciation within them as well as ourselves; inner peace reflective of old wounds that may finally heal.
Are we receiving what we wish to attract or are we calling out to our past for another stint—that opportunity to wipe the slate clean or delve back into what’s familiar?
Sexual desire can often times distort the truth of our passage from one phase of life into the next—when we’ve finally overcome the need for that physical fulfillment that another may have offered in the past.
Let the mystery of love guide us—working through our body, mind and spirit as an interpreter or messenger. May we love those we’ve lost, let go of or never had the chance to know more intimately.
Seeing my past show up all in the span of a weekend (all centered around April fool’s day ironically) has offered tremendous insights into what I’m stepping into next. The ability to walk away from this experience with a deeper sense of peace knowing that healing and reconciliation is indeed taking place—now that we’ve again shared physical proximity and connection together without the past dictating how we truly feel today is quite refreshing.
I can only speak for myself but I’d rather hedge my bets on what’s emerging with our soul through these past traumas, heartaches and struggles as a testament to what’s in alignment with our higher selves now.
Remember, we’ll know we truly love that person if we can watch them walk away with peace in our hearts, especially if it aches—not knowing when or if we’ll see them again but reassured that we’ve overcome our diversity together, yet separately over time since.
Unconditional love is the bridge to our ultimate health and vitality. Despite the cosmic sexual gratification and divine enlightenment that transpired from one particular relationship, I am optimistic about sharing these loving interactions with someone new.
Additionally, we can offer more affection, intimacy and commitment to that someone special if we’ve transcended our past karmic lessons. The burdens are too great to bear—holding onto resentment, grief or anger toward these beautiful spirits who contributed to our liberation.
Letting go frees them as well. We likely broke their hearts too, without question in my mind and heart. I find it nearly impossible to get through any kind of experience with someone where they remained unaffected by our influence.
If we rely on hope and trust our story—our path, then we’re more likely to align with someone who’s more relatable to whom we’ve become rather than who we once were.
Some will say that people never change. I believe we can reinvent ourselves in any moment if we truly wish to.
I’m not sure but if we must hold onto something, let it be something new and likely scary for us to imagine its potential to offer what we truly deserve.
We need not revisit the past in hopes that things will be different this time around. I’ve been there one too many times and trust more faithfully that it’s best to love them from afar while remaining detached and accepting of what’s best for them now too.
It’s healthy to be alone for a while no matter how long it’s required to transform back into our innate selves—who we’re really becoming; less bent on a destructive nature and instead devoted to exposing our wounds and vulnerabilities as new-found strengths born from weaknesses we at one time identified with and inevitably suffered through for far too long.