Inner Glow

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Let your luminescence shine.

If you’re feeling dim.

Shadow has returned.

Inescapable presence.

One moment, I’m fine.

The next, I could leave.

This world confuses me.

What do I have to show for being here?

Why does this voice assure me, “I don’t have to be here.”?

Sorrow licks my wounds.

My tender heart grieving…

Where did this inexplicable pain arrive from?

Is my job to transmute this paralyzing fear?

Worse than acting out my deceptive tendency, is the pain I’d inflict upon others…if I left here.

Walking around, almost believing at times that I’m normal and am fully capable of functioning normally in a normal society.

Persecuting myself for not being comparable in nature to what comforts my family and keeping my loved ones at arm’s length for misunderstanding me – for misunderstanding myself.

Blaming and shaming myself for nearly all 34 years of it.

Awakening one day to my own selfish denial and conjecture about life.

Amounting my worth to ‘success’ in comparison to others.

Finding myself betrayed and alone – realizing, “I’m the cause of all this”.

My own torment and pain.

Every wonderfully memorable moment of utter pleasure and enjoyment.

Lashing out for such a long time, unaware of my own predicament.

Oblivious to safely directing my rage and dissent.

All of the people who’ve suffered at my hand.

It’s terrible to acknowledge one’s own duress.

Mirroring this infliction outward and inward.

There’s no telling if whatever this is will return or go away.

My handicap, my struggle is mental.

For too long, I’ve kept my secret barred in solitary confinement.

Writing helps alleviate these energies which have traveled with me.

Running away never worked, only facing it has.

Making space for it, if we can while it’s visiting and whenever possible, without judgement.

Feel it rather than rationalize or condemn it.

Offer your presence – of mind, body and spirit.

Tuck yourself into a quiet, peaceful space and shed your tears – release it to the Universe for transmutation.

Bathe yourself and this wayward energy in the light of Source.

Forgive its source – we were likely too young and innocent to ever deserve it.

“Ho’oponopono.”

Sever this tie with an energy break.

Visualize this cording being separated from your field. Sometimes I imagine using a Samurai’s sword.

Sleep.

Dream.

Wake up revitalized.

Thank whatever higher power you stand in and remember that you have an individual purpose here to carry out.

Your presence is necessary and you have a duty to uphold.

Trust your life experience.

Find people you can trust, for help whenever you need it – especially when it’s darkest.

Work with your element – mine is air, so I go for long walkabouts often throughout the city to help categorize my life and sort itself out while I get lost for awhile.

You matter.

Get over seeking validation from others that you exist.

You’re here, accept it.

There is a switch – from being a victim, to empowering ourselves.

Turn on your light.

Focus your attention on helping others without being taken advantage of and figure out something to add into your lifestyle – your story, like a painting or glass blowing glass. Perhaps pottery or photography.

Whatever tickles your fancy. Treat yourself to the good that flows naturally, while you’re in the midst of this passion of yours.

Reinforce your boundaries, through regular attention to self-love, e.g. grooming and personal hygiene; the basics.

Perform one small task or deed, just one, if you’re feeling crippled.

We need only step beyond the shadow slightly, to warm ourselves in the light.

Bask in it and allow your confidence to return.

Assert your place here in this world. If you fully understood and embraced why it’s so important to be here – an influential messenger, you’d discover how simple it is.

To love and to be in love – for no reason.

We’re here, if for nothing else, to hold that space when it seems no one else is – that’s why you’re important.

That’s just one of your potentials – of many, many more.

Your subtle energies are immensely more powerful than you might be willing to admit right now. Over time, it will become absolutely transparent – why you belong.

Trust, in time – until its bittersweet end.

Change is constant and unfolds over time. Some of us are better adapted to this, despite its raw nature at times to adjust – so often, life can be incredibly uncomfortable but remember, this is part of the learning experience.

We’re growing and shedding.

Life is not always fair, but it’s just.

Everything has its just cause – especially Nature.

Really, all of this is natural and no real separation truly exists.

Never let anyone stand in the way of what you love – what’s innately part of you; your essence. Here to shine upon the world and let its reflection glimmer in the awe inspired eyes of others who are mystified by your brilliance.

Unleash your inner prowess.

Roar.

Claw your way out of the darkness but never forget where you’ve come from or have been.

Your shadow self is also an abandoned child – deserving to be here and to grow with you in unison, through tolerance, understanding and deep acceptance.

Exercise your right and left brain regularly somehow.

Masculine and feminine.

Logic and creativity.

Intuition will guide you along.

Practice one moment of meditation – one minute long, while focusing on your breath and returning to the present.

This can be done throughout the day.

Learn a healing art, like Reiki so that you’re never apart from the ability to work on your chakra alignment and grounding.

Sense your love and send it, absent limits or expectation.

Receive plentifully, from those who recognize your inner glow and seek to help make space for you to light the way.

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