“For years, I’ve sought attention and validation from others – to feel worthy as an entrepreneur.”
Classic people-pleasing behavior and egoism (rooted in fear) steered my life.
Sure, I was outgoing and friendly – typically very polite and professional.
Over time, we get to know our peers, critics, elders and those who inspire us.
Identifying heavily with what made me who I am through external valuations while my mind endlessly swam through the cavernous depths of a tumultuous inner world, in search of answers to the ceaseless barrage of questions, feelings and hardships.
Where was I headed and where had I come from?
Seeking truth through spiritual awakening and life experience.
Losing sight of my inherent nature, I succumbed to rank and pecking order.
Failure was too shameful to admit.
Acceptance was measured in how ‘successful’ I’d become – rejection reigning over the latter.
As an avid writer, journal upon journal of thoughts, ideas and expressions have slowly accumulated.
Attempts at article submissions to publishers and being turned down each time have halted me in my tracks.
Fearing criticism, judgement and ridicule for what emanates from within – my birthright to communicate with the outer world, my inner majesty.
So many times, the opinions of others altering my perception and quelling my desire and urge to express my truths – anger, resentment and rage consuming me.
Often times succumbing to self-defeat.
Stinging on the inside, my tender body learning to evaluate emotions and transmute them effectively.
Nature bridging the gap between society and freedom. Whenever I began to feel inexplicably lost, I would again find myself in the bosom of Nature.
Something must be lost in order to gain and vice versa.
Recently, I decided that no matter where I wished to be someday, the only way I’d get there is to start – now.
Letting go of the facade and returning to my authentic self, I’ve realized that if I really want something, anything, then I must start towards it – today.
Alas, I write – to no one in particular but perhaps one day, to many.
Dreams burn within, their white-hot flame spiraling upward from the depths of nothingness and into the vast reality we’re co-creating.
Deep inside, something continually nags at my conscience.
We’ve forgotten something or have lost sight of it.
Our Humanity perhaps – or maybe the fear of what’s strategically unknown.
I’ve sought the meaning, purpose and reason why we strive to become a ‘developed’ world.
Can this be accomplished?
Does it require overconsumption of resources?
What if, we simply learned how to balance Man’s innovations with God’s Nature?
We are but an instrument of Nature, or God.
Let us mirror that reflection so that our grandchildren may trust that we carefully constructed and nurtured their inheritance.