Mending Regrets

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While watching a video about people’s regrets, “Letting others down” came to mind—relating to my own personal experiences.

Forgiveness heals—past, present & future.

Forgiving ourselves is also necessary and probably the most essential part of the equation.

Practice forgiveness by writing down anyone’s name that you might feel requires forgiveness or if you’re asking for theirs.

Remember to forgive yourself.

Write, think or say a statement asking for their forgiveness, forgiving them and forgiving yourself.

Bathe in light and make an energy break.

Move on, absent attachment to the outcome.

It weighs heavy on me, to feel guilty over actions I’ve committed in the past—basically out of my own selfish pride.

I feel like it’s possible to accomplish anything we set out to do that’s worth working toward. I’m positive that I could have painted a different landscape while still arriving where I’m meant to be or simply at, today.

Obviously, no two paths will ever be alike—but, the sooner we learn from our age-old lessons, the more likely we’ll be leading richer lives.

If it’s in our awareness, it is our job to heal it. Otherwise, it perpetuates.

Are we here to judge everyone’s nature or heal these distortions?

A regular question I ask myself, “Am I behaving authentically?” often—as a reminder that I’m here to express my true nature.

That natural, fluid dynamic is of opposing polarities.

Shadow and light behavior.

It’s funny, because I almost said that today, I focus on standing people up—as a countermeasure to “letting them down”.

But in all honesty, I feel better as a human when I treat others good.

When I’m not feeling highly of myself, I try to think about the good that others see in me and work toward believing I’m a good person.

Obviously, I have some issues to work on.

What’s the cause of my guilt, shame, regret or sorrow?

Why am I, as others have put it, hard on myself?

Set about making things right with those you felt you’ve wronged by helping people around you.

Deliberate acts of generosity and genuine kindness takes work and effort.

Why?

Because we’re focused on making ourselves available when others need us, i.e. perfect strangers or someone obviously in need—not just when it’s convenient for us.

My hand is raised, “Guilty”.

This can place us beyond our own comfort zones.

This work eventually takes root and our seeds of service radiate beyond their origins.

It’s not our job to judge people’s individual situations—their battles.

Hypocrite should be tattooed to my forehead if this were the case.

There’s another easy choice to make when setting out to mend our ways, clear karma and explore new opportunities: make choices that don’t lead to regrets later on.

Introspection helps us raise our own awareness.

Trust your intuition to help guide your decision making.

Logic is not always right and should never dictate every circumstance.

This is when creativity should be allowed to play.

If we have attachments to regrets or any other form of painful memory, performing energy breaks can help.

This is where visualization practice helps.

Understand that we are corded to others; people, places and times—past, present and future—energetically.

Discern whether something (or someone) you’re corded to is beneficial or draining your energy capacity.

Does it ever feel like people are siphoning your energy?

Close that floodgate!

Our skin is our largest organ but our energy-field is our super-computer where all change is made, first.

Quantum physics can help decipher our complex biology—well beyond the normal five or even sixth individual senses.

You’d be surprised who you’re corded to once you commence listing names or reflecting on what the mind’s eye summons for soul work.

Something I’ve learned in the short time I’ve been back to the material plane, is that it’s never too late to end one chapter and never too soon to begin another.

If you’re unsatisfied with the latest draft, you can always edit, delete, revise and re-write a new chapter; maybe just a new paragraph or sentence.

Whatever satisfies your inner child’s purpose.

It’s good to fall down and start over—to pick ourselves up.

Restoring faith in others—just in different ways now.

Despite what fear would conjure, opening ourselves up—exposing our tender and fragile wounds.

Being vulnerable—turning inward, into our heart’s caverns.

Learn to let normal, mediocre and mundane be grandiose—because it’s the moments that count.

Bask in the moment. Get some fresh air, go for a bike ride, walk or run—for no reason.

We don’t always have to be headed somewhere.

Sometimes, heading in no particular direction, is okay. It’s actually really good for us.

It can seem difficult to imagine our inner child leading the way, but this innocence within us has never left and has only grown wiser. So despite how we might feel about letting our wild nature loose, the only path to liberation is through our higher self—that child-like image of God.

I’m not even religious. I have never read the Bible.

Spirituality has shown me (through parables, i.e. life experience) that the One Infinite Creator is just that—well beyond our limited comprehension and senses.

All things, known and unknown. As the saying goes, we are Spirit, having a human experience and here’s a trade-secret—there’s no right or wrong, no condemnation or reward. We are here by our own sheer will to experience diversity through fragmented soul growth.

There are a myriad of ways to confront and transmute our traumas. What’s important is to allow your child-self to embody who you are today but you have to be willing to feel that pain this child has held onto. We must create the space for ourselves to release and that might entail curling up into the fetal position and sobbing hysterically while in the safety, trust and presence of people (loved ones) or in solitude.

This can be a destructive, but necessary process and there’s no telling in any individual case where this will lead.

Which conflicts torment us and what are we willing to do, that will alleviate heart-ache or shame? Once we learn where the battlefield exists, we can better equip ourselves for rights of passage.

Humankind’s conquest (or more respectfully, his surrender) is what our duality here is about.

Navigating consciousness.

Ho’oponopono.

 

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Blind Acts

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Stop believing that once you’ve obtained something, you can then accomplish some goal or dream.

The time will pass either way.

We are bodies, in motion—through time.

Suspended in Nature.

Dynamic.

Fluid.

Rest is essential to restoration—as is regular attention to our bodies.

Grooming.

I’ve known people who are starved of attention.

Not from others, but to themselves.

It’s hard to explain, but they are “spiritually empty”.

I’ve known this myself.

Act on what compels you to move forward.

Trust guidance from new or unexpected experiences and opportunities.

Why starve our hearts of love, long before we die?

Believe in what the Universe desires of you.

Confide in the unknown.

Confront your captor.

Quit holding yourself hostage from exploring new horizons.

Turn to Nature for guidance.

Hear her whispers—feel the soft, intricate dance of life.

Become Her rhythm.

Are you the storm, the lighthouse or the crashing tides?

Be a pillar.

Solid foundations are built brick by brick.

Mother earth intends for us to spend time, paving each moment to withstand the test of her magnitude.

Time in Nature has taught me to surrender—to give in to Her.

Taken in by Her.

An alchemical transformation occurs.

Spiritual and Material polarities merge.

Connection with our origin is restored.

Shadow and light mingle.

Eternal symphony of shape-shifting magic, performance and play continues.

 

 

Breaking Habits.

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This is a tough one.

Often times, our habits are unconscious.

Raising our own awareness enables us to view ourselves from new perspectives.

Getting to know ourselves on deeper and shallower levels.

Opportunities for better understanding and acceptance.

So I guess I see it like there’s always an exchange of energy in motion.

If we remove, say one bad habit, like an addictive substance from our diet-routine for example, we are creating a void.

Nature abhors a vacuum and will seek to fill that space, so to exercise more influence over what that becomes, replace this ‘bad’ habit with an accompanying ‘good’ habit.

Offer yourself something to focus on and send your attention to while withdrawing.

30 seconds to two minutes is sufficient to overcoming a withdrawal.

Bring your attention to the present moment and sharpen each sense to your immediate surroundings.

Breathe through the withdrawal—return your focus to the breath.

Discover new outlets for release.

Imagine stored energetic tension, housed in various parts of your body.

Exploring the origins of this can help heal and open pathways.

I personally believe there must be a deep-seated willingness to overcome a struggle.

We know what’s harming us, on some level.

Listen to that inner voice that whispers careful guidance.

Face your adversary.

Stop identifying with it.

Shift your perspective elsewhere—toward reinforcing a new habit.

Come to terms with who’s helping you and who wishes to hold you back, in their comfort zone.

These acts are often subconscious behavioral mechanisms beyond the control of its messenger.

Misery loves company.

A happy alcoholic is a paradox.

Nothing but a cheap facade, masking deep, inner sorrow and tremendous pain.

Until I chose sobriety, I had no idea how depressed I’d been—the happy, social-butterfly alcoholic.

The face of addiction is ugly and insidious—affecting generation after generation of people having a propensity for some degree of addictive personality disorder.

When I began to actively change my behaviors, I sought professional help in the form of alternative therapies.

  • Quantum biofeedback therapy
  • Cranial Sacral therapy
  • Reiki

All of which have helped tremendously.

Walking really helps me ground and my element is air, so it’s always beneficial to be outdoors—long walkabouts always rejuvenate my senses and body’s overall awareness.

Subtle measures go a long way.

We’re focused on lifestyle changes, so it requires change to our daily routine.

But, I’ve allowed myself the span of years for some changes to take hold.

Sometimes, there’s no shortcut to overcoming a personal handicap.

Through whatever depths necessary it takes to unearth that trauma.

Diligence pays off.

Sacrifice seems essential.

Forgiveness ultimately heals all wounds.

Scars are reminders of battles fought and won or lost.

For me, I finally realized that I was identifying with a particular substance, only after fasting from it.

After gaining clarity through sobriety, I’m able to express more of my true nature—learning to accept my complete self over time.

Often times, this can conflict with the people we’ve traditionally been comfortable around.

I’ve let many relationships go to the wayside, because I could no longer identify with the environments that had propagated my addiction(s) or ailments.

I had to walk away—from people, places and things.

Someone once challenged me when they asked what I was running from.

I argued his point of view.

What I’m getting at is whatever our affliction, it will come up no matter how far we run from or to.

My solution remains the same today, that we must face our own predicament.

This is part of our life’s work.

Even the most put-together people have conflicting personal struggles, very likely hidden away from those closest to them.

Make no mistake, that every living embodiment faces their own, equal struggle with life and Nature every waking and dying moment.

Can You Weather my Storm?

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Questions to ask one’s self, “Will this person accept me after weathering my storm?” and “Can I weather theirs?”.

Our truths always surface and it’s our choice whether to trust our intuition or not.

When I look at you, I can see your storm and I wonder, “Can you see mine?”.

What’s beautiful about this, is how beautiful you are.

I accept your nature but am terrified you’ll deny my own.

“Why?”, I wonder.

Despite how I feel self-consciously, I hold my ground.

“See me as I am or don’t see me at all.” because I am as Nature intended.

Loathe no more.

The relationship you seek, is within yourself.

A recognition of one’s self and allowance to be, exactly as they are – no matter how painful it is.

Growth-pains.

Necessary, if we are to be ready for battle—of wits and an opposing nature.

The opposite sex—our counterpart.

This strange creature, who dances wildly around the fire with me.

Enamored by her beauty and vivid expression, my animal instincts are heightened.

She mystifies me—her freedom.

Dare I get too close, she might cast me into oblivion.

But, a foolish man knows not and will, with brave naivety, close-in.

So to fool himself of her intrigue, he dances and shows her, his sacred dance ritual.

That child-like spirit, alive inside—battle scarred and wary, but slightly wiser than when he was young.

A primal dance ensues and the two of you square off until dawn.

Exhausted, you either give in to your urges or carry them swiftly with you—into the mysterious beyond.

Cast your gaze her way.

Let her know your male nature, charge and stamina.

Only when she surrenders, do you have her and this moment will not last because she will inevitably return to her wild place.

Pick yourself up and remember your journey.

If your shadow and her light can mingle, then you might get to dance together again but only when you can light the way for her shadow as well.

There is no rhythm to your drum or hers, but one that only you two will hear.

Rest patiently, atop your mountain peak and gaze out at the vast wilderness separating your heart from hers.

Sing loudly, drum endlessly and keep the fire lit if she is ever to discover your presence again.

Silently whisper into her ear and let the winds carry the message.

When lightning strikes and a wildfire ensues, scream your insanities to your God and sacrifice your ego death to the shadow realms of our material plane.

Let Spirit in.

Walk with Nature for a time.

Lose her in the forest.

Bury your past and allow new life to emerge.

One day, you will hear the sound from somewhere long ago.

A primal ceremony around a ring of fire.

You’ll think it’s your imagination but when you look up, she’ll be there in your midst.

“Are you a mirage?”, you’ll ask.

In that moment, you’ll be filled with love and know that whether you are together always or separated by time and space, you’re connected eternally.

Each storm will emerge and settle, passing with time.

As will the moments of peace and serene stillness.

Rest assured, that your archetypal lover and companion is with you—in your heart, always.

Weathering each season, with you.

Inner Glow

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Let your luminescence shine.

If you’re feeling dim.

Shadow has returned.

Inescapable presence.

One moment, I’m fine.

The next, I could leave.

This world confuses me.

What do I have to show for being here?

Why does this voice assure me, “I don’t have to be here.”?

Sorrow licks my wounds.

My tender heart grieving…

Where did this inexplicable pain arrive from?

Is my job to transmute this paralyzing fear?

Worse than acting out my deceptive tendency, is the pain I’d inflict upon others…if I left here.

Walking around, almost believing at times that I’m normal and am fully capable of functioning normally in a normal society.

Persecuting myself for not being comparable in nature to what comforts my family and keeping my loved ones at arm’s length for misunderstanding me – for misunderstanding myself.

Blaming and shaming myself for nearly all 34 years of it.

Awakening one day to my own selfish denial and conjecture about life.

Amounting my worth to ‘success’ in comparison to others.

Finding myself betrayed and alone – realizing, “I’m the cause of all this”.

My own torment and pain.

Every wonderfully memorable moment of utter pleasure and enjoyment.

Lashing out for such a long time, unaware of my own predicament.

Oblivious to safely directing my rage and dissent.

All of the people who’ve suffered at my hand.

It’s terrible to acknowledge one’s own duress.

Mirroring this infliction outward and inward.

There’s no telling if whatever this is will return or go away.

My handicap, my struggle is mental.

For too long, I’ve kept my secret barred in solitary confinement.

Writing helps alleviate these energies which have traveled with me.

Running away never worked, only facing it has.

Making space for it, if we can while it’s visiting and whenever possible, without judgement.

Feel it rather than rationalize or condemn it.

Offer your presence – of mind, body and spirit.

Tuck yourself into a quiet, peaceful space and shed your tears – release it to the Universe for transmutation.

Bathe yourself and this wayward energy in the light of Source.

Forgive its source – we were likely too young and innocent to ever deserve it.

“Ho’oponopono.”

Sever this tie with an energy break.

Visualize this cording being separated from your field. Sometimes I imagine using a Samurai’s sword.

Sleep.

Dream.

Wake up revitalized.

Thank whatever higher power you stand in and remember that you have an individual purpose here to carry out.

Your presence is necessary and you have a duty to uphold.

Trust your life experience.

Find people you can trust, for help whenever you need it – especially when it’s darkest.

Work with your element – mine is air, so I go for long walkabouts often throughout the city to help categorize my life and sort itself out while I get lost for awhile.

You matter.

Get over seeking validation from others that you exist.

You’re here, accept it.

There is a switch – from being a victim, to empowering ourselves.

Turn on your light.

Focus your attention on helping others without being taken advantage of and figure out something to add into your lifestyle – your story, like a painting or glass blowing glass. Perhaps pottery or photography.

Whatever tickles your fancy. Treat yourself to the good that flows naturally, while you’re in the midst of this passion of yours.

Reinforce your boundaries, through regular attention to self-love, e.g. grooming and personal hygiene; the basics.

Perform one small task or deed, just one, if you’re feeling crippled.

We need only step beyond the shadow slightly, to warm ourselves in the light.

Bask in it and allow your confidence to return.

Assert your place here in this world. If you fully understood and embraced why it’s so important to be here – an influential messenger, you’d discover how simple it is.

To love and to be in love – for no reason.

We’re here, if for nothing else, to hold that space when it seems no one else is – that’s why you’re important.

That’s just one of your potentials – of many, many more.

Your subtle energies are immensely more powerful than you might be willing to admit right now. Over time, it will become absolutely transparent – why you belong.

Trust, in time – until its bittersweet end.

Change is constant and unfolds over time. Some of us are better adapted to this, despite its raw nature at times to adjust – so often, life can be incredibly uncomfortable but remember, this is part of the learning experience.

We’re growing and shedding.

Life is not always fair, but it’s just.

Everything has its just cause – especially Nature.

Really, all of this is natural and no real separation truly exists.

Never let anyone stand in the way of what you love – what’s innately part of you; your essence. Here to shine upon the world and let its reflection glimmer in the awe inspired eyes of others who are mystified by your brilliance.

Unleash your inner prowess.

Roar.

Claw your way out of the darkness but never forget where you’ve come from or have been.

Your shadow self is also an abandoned child – deserving to be here and to grow with you in unison, through tolerance, understanding and deep acceptance.

Exercise your right and left brain regularly somehow.

Masculine and feminine.

Logic and creativity.

Intuition will guide you along.

Practice one moment of meditation – one minute long, while focusing on your breath and returning to the present.

This can be done throughout the day.

Learn a healing art, like Reiki so that you’re never apart from the ability to work on your chakra alignment and grounding.

Sense your love and send it, absent limits or expectation.

Receive plentifully, from those who recognize your inner glow and seek to help make space for you to light the way.

Loving Wrong to Loving Right

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Loving the wrong person can often times steer you towards someone who’s right, instead.

I’m a bit of a romantic at heart and have neglected this aspect of myself for too long.

I really enjoy the sensual aspects of flirting and exploring the mystery of someone new.

It’s fun getting to know them, having a slight infatuation and harboring excitement for when we might see them next.

Try leaving it to fate for awhile.

For me, living in a small community lends to a surprising amount of chance encounters with people we’ve met.

Obviously, being active and outside often is the most likely way for fate to help us out with meeting new people.

Rather than jumping in and asking her out, my tendency has been to leave things up to the Universe while we get further acquainted over time.

Modesty is likely what prevents me from advancing more but I’m one to pick and choose wisely instead of tarnishing what can otherwise become a great friendship.

So often, I’ve believed that someone was a good fit only to find later down the road how indifferent we actually are.

Attraction makes this complicated.

I mean, physical attraction and a reproductive drive to procreate and spread my seed.

Having slowly advanced beyond instinctual attraction, not fully overcome but managed, I am now able to see into her mind more clearly.

Experience has helped me recognize what makes her unique and beautiful in mind and spirit, not just physique.

Don’t mistake these honest eyes. I love to study the splendid curvature of a woman and her hour-glass hips.

There’s something mysterious, magical and incredibly sexy about the matriarchal woman.

The love affairs I’m interested in are those where two souls collide in spirit and intellect, emotion and wits.

Genuine connection on multiple levels.

Let her challenge you – she’s very likely an incredibly insightful person who is naturally compassionate and caring.

Never take advantage of a woman’s generosity, nor should kindness be mistaken for something it’s not.

What kind of attention are you offering her that’s uniquely you? Remember, that she likely receives a lot of attention from males.

Nothing to be jealous of, but keep in mind that it’s inherently natural to compete – again, from a biological standpoint.

Are you capable of competing without behaving like a big, dumb animal?

Reveal the ever so slightest amount of vulnerability to her so she can relate to you more deeply.

Always express humility.

What makes us smile and laugh in one another’s company?

Do our interactions unfold naturally and are they enjoyable or memorable?

From my perspective, the small things matter.

Remember the little things about her, like her intricacies and cues.

Body language occupies the majority of our interactions.

Sometimes women need our love and attention and that’s it. It’s okay to love without being attached. There’s nothing sexual about this either, if our intentions are in the right place.

Love originates from the heart.

Verbal communication is vital and conversation ought to flow smoothly, making the time pass wistfully.

Be thankful and pass along through the Ethers, your appreciation for all of the ‘wrong’ women out there for you so that your magnetic attraction to the right person will be unmistakable.

Once you’ve met that special someone, pursue her.

Let her know you’re interested and give yourselves quality time to learn more about each other.

There’s no rush – but we aren’t getting out alive either.

Sometimes opportunities come and go and so letting your intuition guide you will help determine whether it’s right to ask her out or get her number to call sometime.

Believe me, she’ll let you know if she’s interested – a woman’s ques are subtle, yet very suggestive.

This is when you trust and act, without analyzing the moment like us men often do.

In a world where we’re all connected, rather than text, surprise her by calling so she can hear your voice.

All of these ques matter -she’s feeling you out.

Trust takes time to build; part of the necessary foundation to any relationship.

Put your own logic aside for awhile and trust your right brain’s creative voice.

Smile often and gaze silently as you instill your love, so she can safely reflect her innermost vulnerable areas of the heart.

Cradle her expressions delicately. Often times, we are still mending old wounds and it takes time to bridge the divide between two people’s mutual faith and understanding of one another.

Respect her past and honor her life choices in silence.

Allow attunement of two souls while they mingle in the dream-scape for awhile.

Creative works of spirit lends to the cooperation and synchronicities of two counterparts while this archetypal courting unfolds.

The best advice I could offer is to ensure that you never stop leading your life and straying from your focus – your purpose.

Women need a secure man and that begins with being secure with one’s self.

Passion, pursuit and persistence are virtuous qualities.

As a wise person recently suggested, focus on the path instead of the obstacles.

Discover the essence that exists between just you two – guard it with your love and compassion.

Divine masculine occupies both our dominant masculine and feminine aspects, complimenting our true nature.

No matter how many times you fail, she’ll recognize your worth without fault. Never step over your mate if you seek to have a flourishing partnership.

She’ll bring out the very best in you – parts of yourself you might not have believed in before.

Your shadow self will inevitably arrive, as will hers. Recognize this and cherish those parts that are innately you – human.

Make sure you’re becoming the best version of yourself if you truly want the best version of her, whoever that may be.

What kind of environment are you creating in your own life that’s conducive to a healthy relationship with the opposite sex?

It’s about learning yin and yang – embracing difference.

In a world of instant gratification, some chivalry and quality presence together or away will surely generate stronger ties as things unfold.

Focus on her and remain attentive, not distracted by your smartphone.

[It’s unfortunate that I even have to mention such distractions that are plaguing our ability to connect on deeper levels.]

Surprise her with flattery and stationary. Gift her with the little things that matter to her.

Show her the many ways that you love her over time. Make the moments count because that’s what we take with us.

If you’re serious about the right woman entering your life, make space for her long before she arrives.

Create a life of enjoyment that you’ll look forward to sharing with your future partner.

Never forget, you’re a catch too.

 

 

Stand in Your Darkness.

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I do not wish that you stand in front of your darkness in hopes that I will not see your shadow.

I want you to show me who you truly are.

Tell me your darkest secrets.

Show me what lies deep down.

I am interested in helping you get more acquainted with who you truly are—both light and dark.

We are all messengers of love and fear.

Which we choose as the overwhelming force to abide by, is solely up to our own deeds and desires.

Are you pretending to be something you’re not?

I can see you—because I have peered within myself.

Let us rejoice in our discovery, that we are all blessed and cursed.

Together, we can mend every broken heart and allow each tender wound to heal.

Trust, that you will not survive this journey.

Nonetheless, it is imperative that you still accept what your higher calling has urged you to complete.

Fear not, your shadow self.

It is a part of you, whether you decide to banish, accept or dwell in its pervasion.

Even when the candle is lit, the darkness surrounding it exists.