“Look at me!”
Ah, the silent scream of, “I need your attention, please!” – the pleading voices of so many faces I see in the digital and outer world. A sophisticated network of communication that leaves two people sitting down at dinner feeling lonelier, having lost themselves and are now eagerly seeking elsewhere [for attention].
Attention, validation, social integration, etc. We need interpersonal relationships in order to survive as an empathetic species – in tune with our natural world, the world that is right around us.
Imagine communication at long distances, no longer possible – no means of connecting. Now imagine who you’re around on a daily basis and who you could invite into your life. There are people all around us every day, yet more than ever, we’re seeing the mass starvation of genuine interpersonal communication.
The face of narcissism is prevalent everywhere in society.
I’m realizing now, in this moment how important it is to recognize my own inner, narcissist. What is a narcissist? Someone generally, with low self esteem and who seeks attention from others for validation (or rank) and purpose for their existence. Because one is devoid of emotional stimulus, they are physiologically attracted to empathetic people – of who’s energy they naturally siphon.
To point at the narcissist in disdain, we’re objecting to an aspect of our own nature and therefore resisting the lesson we can learn from our reflection:
To become aware of the nature around our exchanges of energy.
Simple boundaries (like saying, “No.”) and sometimes a ‘fight’ response will allow us to calmly stand our ground and transmute ugly energies without directly involving ourselves in their drama.
Breathe, slowly and consciously for as long as necessary to circumvent hostile energy. Look, I’ve played the role of narcissist and have been played by narcissists as well – both male and female, within a wide age demographic.
“Ho’oponopono – I’m sorry, please forgive me, I love you, thank you.”
I recently read an article about a mental health professional who turned the mental state of his ward of patients around through practicing self-forgiveness first. Practicing a broader understanding of these patient’s needs, he was able to transmute their mental disorders without the use of prescription drugs.
Remember, we can be more attentive to our personal needs and find that inner peace once we simply allow it – through surrender. It’s amazing that we can share so much of our lives socially now and I’m thankful because we can. I’ve also learned that the healthiest interpersonal connections take place in the flesh.
I will often shy away from people to offer myself a period of interlude. This way, I can be my highest self when in the presence of others. Space alone lets our broader nature breathe, absent distraction or restriction. This time of introspection, offers insights into our lives and states of overall health.
So what’s the underlying cause of this “Selfie” phenomena? More love, we need more love on the interpersonal level. Sometimes, disconnecting is important so that we can more fully offer our attention to someone else.